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Mopiness of Doomcon
Author's Note An author can dream while others are living her dream right? Well obviously this is my sedative to keep under control while some of you might be in Los Angeles right now, reading this and preparing for a once in a life-time experience that I might sadly not be able to ever have another chance to possibly attend... Stupid... East-coast... DX *CUT!* Uh anyways, so yeah! Here we are! Hope this gets an audience! And to those reading this at home and going through what I'm going through then I hope you can share this with me and fill in all the En's with whatever you name is. Consider it a little piece of sympathy. And to those who are reading this that are in or are leaving or are at Doomcon. Hope you have/had/will have a good time, and best wishes to you and anyone accompanying you. *stands on top of podium like Zim* AND YOU DESERVE NOT TO BE ABLE TO SEE ANDY! HA! HA! YOU STINK! *tasered* Ow... extra long Author Note is ending now... prepare for... STORY! ~!!!! The jet's powerful engines sprang to life as the group, one by one, boarded the plane. In less than a day they would arrive in Los Angeles to be loved and praised by their biggest fans. "Ah yes, no other day is better than a day when everyone is celebrating ZIIIM!" the Irken proclaimed. He had his arms full with luggage and Gaz's luggage that she had forced on him. "I whole weekend... with you. Ugh, if it wasn't for the free pizza and endless games they give me I would have never stepped foot on this plane." Gaz droned as she tapped away at her GameSlave2. "You're not the only one opposed to this. Zim, you better not do anything to my family while you're there! I'll come right after you." Dib threatened as he was forced to back away from the group. "You can try! Ha! Since, you know, you were cancelled!" Zim broke into hysterics again as he recalled Dib's expression upon hearing the news. "Shut up! We were all cancelled in general over ten years ago." Dib said breaking the fourth-wall. "But we weren't all DOUBLE-cancelled! HAHA!" Zim pointed out. He laughed even more, pain tracing his ribs because of the constant laughter erupting from him. "And it's NOT because my head is too big!" Dib interrupted him and pointed a finger at Zim, daring him to bring up the sensitive subject. "Oh really? Then you might want to take another look at that cancellation code." Zim used all his strength not to start laughing again. "I don't care ''about the cancellation code! You just listen! Lay a finger on my sister and it's your head!" Dib made a movement with his finger, signaling a sliced neck. "EH, I never really valued my head anyways." Zim shrugged merely and took Gaz by the hand. She instantly stopped playing her game to look up angrily to Zim with wide eyes. "If you don't release my hand this instant Zim, I swear I will pull out your eyeballs and use them as my personal baseballs. And then I will cut off your arm and use it as a bat. Understand?" Gaz threatened, seething and glowing with rage. "Oh I do understand. You tease Zim, so. Little Gaz." Zim grinned then it slowly turned into a smirk once he realized Dib's expression. "Good-bye Dib, have fun stuck here. You know, not at Doomcon. Because you were cancelled." Zim waited a few fragile moments before speaking again, "Because your head was too big." "GO! JUST GO! I'll be happy without you two around! Especially you!" Dib shouted, pointing wildly at the entrance, "Go!" Where at the moment Gir was face-hugging a flight attendant, "Get it off!" she screeched. Zim chuckled darkly then glanced back down at his little captive, "Yes, we'll go. Come on my purple enchantress. Zim will show you what real games look like." he crooned. Gaz slid open an eye at this, "What are you saying? That I don't have good taste in games?" "What? Oh no, of course not, Gaz-human." "You better not have because that threat I said before is still fresh in my mind and I'm not afraid to initiate it." Gaz interrupted then pulled harder on Zim's hand that was still clutched to hers, "I don't want to stay here any longer. Let's move." Just before Zim and Gaz boarded the ship, Zim yanked his head backwards to see Dib glaring at him, but it wasn't an angry glare, no, it was a pitiful glare that showed that he had won. At least this time. Satisfied he turned back around and they entered the large jet. Gir had already stopped hugging the flight attendant and went straight for Gaz. "Gazzy! I didn't know choo were comin' with us!" Gir sang. Gaz grunted in reply then sighed, annoyed, "I already told you this three times today. At Zim's base. At the airport. And here. You have the attention span of a piece of string." Gir only stared up blankly at her. "Gazzy! I didn't know choo were comin' with us!" Gaz screamed, and stomped away, releasing her grip on Zim's claw. Zim gave Gir a death glare before scampering off for his Gaz. ~!!!! Dib watched sadly as the jet took off and left the ground. The plane was decorated especially for the occasion. It had the Irken insignia, the Swollen Eyeball Network's symbol, Gaz's necklace, and a bright pink cupcake. Along with that, above it in huge, bold, purple letters was ' N'. He could only watch as it slowly faded to only 'D O O M' as the plane skirted by him. When it was finally out of sight he sighed and looked down at his cancelled flight ticket and entry form. Enraged he balled up the two documents and threw them to the ground. "Welcome to the club." came a sad/bored familiar sounding voice. He whirled around and squinted, "En? What are you doing here?" "I was here the whole time... Anyways. I know how you feel. Not being able to go to Doomcon. That's just a load of dookie, isn't it?" En walked over to him and set her sympathetic artificial eyes on his. "Yes. It is. I mean, I'M a bigger role than Gaz is! How could they cancel me?" Dib threw his arms up in the air and sighed, "Oh that's right. Because my head's too big." "That's a stupid reason." En pointed out, narrowing her eyes. "I know it is. And now I wont be able to help Gaz if Zim does something to her. You should have seen it! Ugh! He had his grubby alien paws all over her. It was mortifying!" Dib ranted, throwing in some exaggerated arm gestures. "I don't know. I think they make a really cute couple." En shrugged then looked at the seething boiling pit of rage that was Dib glaring daggers at her, "I mean, ew, Zim likes Gaz. Bestiality." "I thought bestiality was human and animal?" Dib wondered, cocking his head to one side. "It is.. I couldn't think of a better term." En nodded and looked to her feet, "Can we stop talking about it now?" "Yeah." Dib complied quickly, feeling their much more serious conversation fade away from the awkwardness. "Like I was saying, we should get you some justice. Maybe I could help... on ONE condition." En stared at Dib intently. "Sure." Dib said and waited for this so-called 'condition'. But he wasn't expecting ''this. En was now on her knees, eyes filled to the brim with tears, "Take me with you-hoo!" she tugged at Dib's trench coat. Dib raised an eyebrow at her action, "Uh, yeah, sure. Okay." En shot up like a bullet, "You will?" "Why not? I mean, you are helping me." Dib rolled his eyes. En tackled Dib in a huge hug, "OhthankyouthankyouDibyouwontregretthisIswearyouwont!" "Ah! Okay! Okay! Let go!" he pushed her off and dusted himself off, "I'm not the type with physical expressions." En released him and cheered, "Alright! Well pack you bags and meet me at my place because we're heading to Doomcon!" Dib pumped a fist in the air, "To save my sister!" "To save you sister and get doused by love from fans!" En added. "Yeah! And that!" Dib agreed. They shook hands. IT. WAS. ON. '~!!!!' Author's Note: I apologize. I was supposed to get this posted yesterday but I failed. BUT! Since I am so enraged because no one actually HAD a live stream. I have a nice big chapter for you. So if you had the same problem yesterday then here's something dedicated to you! *eye twitches* I heard it was originally gonna be in Florida but Jhonen said he would only go if it were in LA... *eye twitches* *shoves a happy probe into brain* Its... so... great... *faints* Call me Hyper, Call me Hearts Just don't call me 58, Cuz I'm not that old! 01:16, July 30, 2012 (UTC)! Clad in a Irken military helmet and a disconnected PAK-leg, En walked into the room, standing next to a board with a map on it. "Attention, solider Dib Membrane!" she shouted. "Is this all really necessary?" Dib asked, giving her the same look he receives from his peers. "No, but it's fun." En whispered to him. "Whatever. Just get it over with so we can get going." Dib waved it off. "Okay!" she saluted, "Alright! So we're here." she slammed her PAK-leg somewhere in the east-coast, "And we need to get here!" she picked it up and pinned it over California. "Right." Dib nodded. "How?" she pondered. "Oh are you-? TAKE YOUR SPACE-SHIP THINGY!" Dib busted, "You haven't even thought of that yet?" "I DID! But then you had to interrupt me! Now sit!" she commanded, annoyed, "Yes, we will be taking zmwhocrewsir." she coughed. "What?" Dib wondered what she said, "I didn't hear you." "Zimwhoozer." she repeated, a little louder. "What?" Dib shook her. "I SAID ZIM'S VOOT CRUISER!" she barked, "Unhand me!" Dib released her and sat down again, "Can we please just discuss this on the trip there? Every second is crucial in this situation." "Have it your way, then." En shrugged and threw the PAK-leg and helmet away, "It's parked in the back." "Parked in the back?" Dib cocked his head to the side, "How could you fit that thing?" "Easy. Just shrink it." En replied and opened her balcony sliding door. She and Dib stepped out and he looked to the right where there was a fairly large closet, he watched as En opened that door and there it was, the voot cruiser. Only a little smaller. "So, how do we get it back to normal size?" Dib asked, smiling at her for the moment. For the moment, note that. "Oh I never thought of that." En looked guilty at him. Remember that smile for the moment? Yeah. It just disappeared. Dib grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her violently, "What do you mean '''never thought of that'?" En knocked her eyes back into alignment, "What I mean is that I don't know how to re-size it. But don't worry. It can still fit the both of us." "It can? Well I guess it's not that bad then." Dib let go of her and walked over to the vehicle. "What is up with you and Zim with the brain rattling?" En commented, shaking her head to get rid of the spots. "I don't know... maybe because you almost jeopardized our whole plan!" Dib replied, hopping into the passenger seat. En nodded and went straight to the driver's seat. Already the two were sandwiched. "Well. This is uncomfortable." Dib glared at her. "It'll get better in a second." En winked and turned on the voot. The bright headlights brightened up the light-less room and Dib was astonished at how big it really was. "This place is bigger than my room." he said, staring out the window. "It is? Must be a small room then." En cocked an eyebrow. "No! This is just a huge closet! Someone could live in here if they needed to." Dib defended. "That wouldn't be very good. There's zero AC or heating in here." En narrowed her eyes at him, "For such a big head you don't think that much." "My head is perfectly fine! I do think, and like I said only if they needed to!" Dib clutched his head with his palm, irritated with the 'big-head' jokes. That's exactly what got him here in the first place. "Can we go now?" En inquired, her eyes narrowed further at him. "Yes! What were you waiting for?" Dib shouted, exasperated. "For you to stop talking. It's rude to lift off while someone is speaking." En explained. "Oh well I- YAAAHHH!" Dib hit the roof as En blasted through the ceiling of the oddly over-sized closet and into the air. Dib rubbed his abused head, "Now ''that ''was rude." "Sorry. At least now we have space." En apologized, keeping her eyes ahead of her. "What do you- Oh." Dib looked around and saw that the voot had returned to it's full size, "I thought you said you didn't know how to re-size it." "I did. But then I figured out. So hang tight! Los Angeles here we come! WHOO! HOO!" En corkscrewed while whooping all the way. Meanwhile Dib was screaming his head off with only one thought in his mind. '''I'm in a foreign space-craft with a crazy lunatic alien! How many times is this going to happen to me?' ~!!!! "Gaz-human. Come here. Zim must show you something." the Irken announced from his seat across the way from the distracted purple-haired girl. She looked up from her GameSlave 2, eyes squinted. The only emotion on her face was pure irritation, "What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?" she held up her purple device. "Yes but what I have is of much better importance than that piece of Earthly junk." Zim persisted. "Do NOT call the GameSlave 2 a piece of junk. If you ever say something like that again I will skip rope with your squiggly-skootch... or whatever." Gaz tightened her grip on her portable gaming system. "Yes, yes, now come." Zim ignored her words of venom, and pulled out a box, "I have something that will amaze you." "Pff. Nothing amazes me. Now just leave me alone and keep your mouth shut." Gaz turned her back to him and continued playing. Zim frowned, "Does this mean that you do not want to receive the Game Slave 3 a year early?" Gaz stopped playing her game and right at that moment a swarm of vampire piggies decided to ambush the Vampire Piggy Slayer and 'game-over'ed immediately, "You better ''not lying or I ''will ''do something inhumanly horrible to you." Zim chuckled, "Oh, Gaz-thing, your threats mean nothing to Zim. He isn't human anyways." Gaz left her seat and reluctantly sat down in the seat next to Zim, he grinned, "That's all you had to do. Now! Witness true gaming technology!" he whipped out a box from behind his back. The eleven-year old terrifying girl, trembled with rage, "That's a ''box you moron." "Ah-ah. Not just any ''box. Open it and you'll see." Zim handed her the silver package. Gaz opened a single eye and stared down at it for a minute or so before finally tearing the tape with her finger and opening the top. Zim blinked at the action, "How can such a tiny being do such an extraordinary thing?" "I'm ''not ''tiny." Gaz whispered, then turned her attention back to the box, she lifted out another box, except tinier and made out of pure silver. She ground her teeth together and turned back to Zim, her eyes even more narrowed than usual, "You're 'kidding 'right?" "Press that button on the side." Zim said casually, his spindly arms locked behind his head. Gaz kept her glare set on Zim for a little longer and then pressed the blinking blue button on the side. She gasped when it morphed into a oval shape and levitated. "What?" she managed to say as it transformed, her eyes opened half-way in surprise. Zim looked up with her and chuckled again, "'What' would be the best in Irken gaming tech. And possibly the universe!" "Yeah. Well-" Gaz was cut short when the strange device unfolded further and revealed three screens with two panels jutting out on the bottom. And finally a large semi-sphere appeared, changing rainbow colors slowly. "Impressed?" Zim asked smugly, with a hint of hope in his voice. "It's... c-cool." Gaz admitted, while on the inside she wanted to- Nevermind. She actually ''did. For the briefest of brief moments. Zim felt the warmth of the human girl's body wrapped in his, arms circled around his neck. But before he could blink she was back in her own seat, across from him, now playing with her new gaming system. A loud single beep got his attention and he looked down. In his gloved hands was her GameSlave 2. In big black letters right next to Gaz Mem was, 'Thanks'. Zim nodded and stored the game device away, talking to himself, "You're welcome Gaz-female." Only several seats from his master, Gir's eyes twitched and turned red for several moments. His usual grin locked into a firm and disapproving frown. "Gaz-zy." he grumbled, stretching out her name in a rasped and angry tone.